Make Room
It’s a new year, a new beginning. A time to do the thing or things we’ve always wanted to do. I know for many we’ve set some pretty lofty goals for ourselves and that’s a wonderful thing. The question becomes are we going to be kind to ourselves in the midst of pursuing our heart’s desire? Are we going to trust that God/the universe is in control of it all anyway? Or are we going to hold onto the tragedies of yesterday? A successful person is one who may fall down seven times but gets back up eight. We learn more often when don’t get it right than we do when we are right. Will we look towards failure as a lesson versus a mistake?
Friends, I know that in the beginning days of this year there was yet another attack on humanity when those that choose to operate in hate sought to destroy everything that our nation was built on. For the first time in my life, I chose peace. Human beings were not meant to fight against one another. Lincoln himself once said, “A house divided against itself cannot stand”. This means that in order for our outside/external environment to come together, “the house” first begins within us.
I do believe that reflection is important therefore what are some things that 2020 revealed to you? Ironically hindsight is also 20/20. There is power and strength in vulnerability. It took a year so crazy for me to deal with things that perhaps held me back for longer than I care to admit, however, I cannot beat myself up over it. I’m here learning what my triggers are, healing and I’m moving forward. I had to get so uncomfortable to get comfortable with the unknown if that makes sense. This is perhaps the greatest lesson being an artist has taught me, embracing whatever life has in store. In getting COVID, I really only could rely on yes medical experts after going to the E.R. and trust that when they told me my case was mild that I would be more than fine, and trust God to do the rest and do what only he could do. When I tell you that not only was my case mild but also, the virus hovered above my lungs, which means they were saved & unaffected, it means that I’m blessed and I consider my survival a miracle. I remember praying and asking God/the universe that if I was going to get sick, that I wanted to be an example of what faith can do. An example of the fact that we do not have to be defined by our circumstances. We’re better than that!
That being said, I was brought down to my knees. I didn’t know if I was going to live or die, honestly. Two things, I chose life. And secondly, I told God I wasn’t done yet. I have a mission and purpose to fulfill on this earth. Although I’m not fully realized, I know that I’m moving closer towards that which gives me joy. A HUGE win after once battling depression and suicide when I was young. As I look back on my life, every time I thought something detrimental happened to me, it was happening for me. A redirect or a repositioning towards becoming a truer, bolder, and perhaps a braver version of myself. That is how resilience is built. Last year and years prior I now see were making room for blessings and even greater things to come. There is absolutely no purpose in going back, it doesn’t serve you. Look at a car, for instance, there is a reason why your windshield is larger than your rearview mirror.
When I thought about last week, and although I never condone violence, death, or ruin, I thought to myself this is a system that never truly worked for everyone anyway. Perhaps we needed a year such as 2020 or whatever else may come to remove what isn’t working so we can build back better (and I’m by no means shying away from all the deaths that I have occurred, my heart breaks every single time I think about it). To live in peace and harmony the way God/the universe originally intended, regardless of: ethnicity, gender identity, sexual orientation, socio-economic status, religion, politics, or any other label I may have unintentionally left out.
SO this year, while more challenges perhaps lay ahead as we working towards healing will you press forward with me knowing that it will all turn out for a greater purpose yet to be revealed or will you shrink back and stay stagnant? You are worth more than you realize and you owe it to yourself to keep moving forward, you deserve the world. Will you make room for blessings to come?
Let’s get out of the self-sabotage mentality, be gentle with ourselves, and speak positively towards ourselves in 2021 and not judge our future. If you can speak kindly to others, family or close friends, why wouldn’t you love yourself just as much? You are SO precious. I am grateful that 2020 taught me about sitting still, literally. Learning to listen, learning to be patient, and appreciating what I do have; and not that I ever took it for granted, but sometimes I need the reminder. I know it may be hard, but if we can make it through last year well then my friends, we already know that we’re equipped for this year! This also means that every single thing that has happened in our lives was meant to shape us, mold us into better versions of ourselves. Let’s make room for 2021 to usher in new things, let us also remember that “new” make look different for everyone. Let’s let go of past narratives that may alter how we see this year. For if we dwell on the “what ifs”, coulda, shoulda, woulda we will miss the beauty of what God/the universe is trying to get to us or do at this very moment.
All we have is today. Not yesterday, not even tomorrow. We can hope for tomorrow but we HAVE to appreciate today. Being alive is a special occasion! We’re alive and if we’re blessed enough to be in good health well then we really DO have it all. Sending love and light to all (especially those fighting the vid, I got you)! xo
