RIGHT ON TIME
Sometimes I’m a fan of cliches, sometimes I’m not.
In the interest of this being a new year and a new decade I’ll do my best to avoid that whole, “new year, new me” b.s. because let’s be honest change doesn’t happen that quickly. However, I have been inundated with thoughts and sentiments that must take flight or in this case be met with the black keys of my laptop.
It occurred to me while sitting in a coffee shop in the West Village that I’m perhaps right where I’m supposed to be. 2020 in the infancy hours was a bit of a mess for me if I’m being honest. I missed home, and I couldn’t help but hear the negative voices inside me saying, “stupid girl, who do you think you are thinking you could take on the city?” For a moment I thought I had begun to regress. I thought again and conducted my own staff meeting with me, myself and I when I said to myself, “Ceballos you’ve come this far you’re not going to just let yourself stay here and take it. You worked your ass off to get to where you are…additionally, if there’s one thing that last year taught you was that you can weather most storms and manage the unknown, now. Look at how far you’ve come! You have the rest of your life and the rest of the year and a whole city full of opportunity that still has yet to meet you, go and get it!
Now that the chaos of the holidays is over, I see things so clearly now. I could go back home, but then I’d be going backward or so it would seem. Then I would just be kicking myself for giving up my dream when all I thought about when I was in Texas was this moment. It’ll always be a part of me but nothing really excites me the way that New York City does. It’s a pain in the ass sometimes but it keeps me on my toes. The way that it moves, the fact that there’s ALWAYS something to do. I really can get whatever I want at all hours of the day. If I want to hop on the train and go to Brooklyn I can. If I want to get on a bus and go to Boston I can. Aww, Boston, I love that little town, it’s very quaint and cozy. I’m digressing…
But at this very moment, as I sit here and blog, I’m reminded that God is in control and I need to remember to be present and live for today. Tomorrow has it’s own trouble and no matter what happens I need to keep my joy. That being said, we’re off to the races, I’ve booked my first gig of the year already & I have another audition coming up. I have no doubt that 10-year-old me that once dreamed of living here would be so proud of me.
Isn’t life a funny thing, one minute you’re down and the next you’re up. While the downtimes may not be ideal that is also where your character is built and prepares you for the next thing that life has in store so nothing is ever wasted. After all, no one said it would be easy but they did promise it would be worth it.
New year, same old me and I only stand to improve. The only difference is I’m going to love me and extend grace along the way. I’ve got my sights, hopes and dreams set high and if I can accomplish a whole lot in the last decade I can’t wait to see what will happen in the next. Besides life is a marathon, not a sprint. I write to inspire, I write to encourage but most of all I write to create community. Let’s not go it alone in 2020, but rather let’s build each other up because together there’s nothing we can’t accomplish.
The past remains, while the future is still unknown the only thing that matters is right now and let’s trust God/The universe that we’re right on time, right where we’re supposed to be.
