Self Love Isn’t Selfish
In my last post I talked about narratives. More importantly, the ones we tell ourselves. Our thoughts have the ability to enhance our lives or hinder it. I asked the question, “Which ones are we entertaining?” How are you seeing yourself?
Sundays represent self-care for me. It’s the one day a week where I don’t have to do anything or be anywhere if I choose not to or not talk to anyone. Frankly, it’s become a must for me. I also need to be more diligent about carving out time to decompress. Lately, I have neglected myself too much where I found myself operating from a constant state of panic, fear, worry, lack, and anxiety. Why? I couldn’t tell you until today…it occurred to me while I was spending time with my creator that I was fixated upon all the not-so-great parts of myself that I hope no one ever sees or the parts of me that I show to a select few. The truth is, they’re all still a part of the great person that I am. I don’t know how I lost sight of that.
I’m not certain of who I’m writing this for, is this happening to you too? You know what I’m talking about…the voices of doubt, the voice of self-sabotage, the voice of this may never happen for me. The voices or broken records we play in our minds of why we think something won’t work out. Often, we operate from old programming or out of past trauma. I could be the poster child for that honestly lol. We do this all the time because we often tell ourselves we’re unworthy of love or unworthy of great things happening for us. All jokes aside, real talk, whatever it is we’re dealing with doesn’t have to control or define us. We’re human, yes, but my dear friends please know how amazing you actually are, yes areas of opportunity/faults and all! See yourself the way that God/the universe sees you! And if I’m sharing secrets, the more I started to work on myself, the more my world changed. When I stay in love with myself and with life and or in general operate from love as hard as it may be sometimes, the more that gets reflected back. What I’m learning currently is that it’s a daily thing, and yes it is the harder choice. It’s so easy to just abandon ship or act out of our unhealed places. Love means, being disciplined or valuing yourself enough to say no or to make better decisions. Even if we fall, it’s ok! Our relationships with ourselves take as much time, care, and work like any other relationship.
Friends, YOU ARE WONDERFUL. I hope you always know that and believe it. Society/life has a way of reminding us of where we fall short (and in my case, I got up to 5’4 lol). I’m not my past trauma, I’m not what others label me or even my accomplishments. Often we get so attached to outcomes and results and that’s how we define ourselves. The best work growth comes during the “dark” moments. Do you know that God/the universe loves you so much in spite of whatever it is that you’ve done or will do? There is nothing you can do to change that or stop it. And if you’re in a dark place, then the only way to get out of that is to allow love and light in. Imagine what would happen if we spent the same amount of energy worrying about what could go wrong or how it’s going to work out and channel that into being happy & just enjoying life?
Spend some time today loving the you that you are! Just let in love, receive it. In the words of Carrie Bradshaw, “If you find someone to love the you that you love, well then that’s just fabulous!” Believe that all that you’re seeking is seeking you too! Believe it’ll all work out (and it always does!) for our greatest good. Love comes more naturally than hate and love is always the answer! Be gentle with yourselves and re-set and re-start as many times as you need to! Einstein himself said, "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing the same way expecting different results”. It begins with loving ourselves first, change it up.
Be ok with the unknown, be ok with not attaching to the outcome, you don’t need to know all the details (and trust me when I say I get it, I’m the queen of details and hyper-organized, I’m a Virgo!) but honestly, if I knew everything it would take out all the fun in life and friends God/the universe always has a better way of working things out than we can!
Give yourself permission to let go and just have fun. If we stay caught up in the details or the worry/fear of how it all works out then we also miss out on the beauty of any single moment that we’re in. Relax, surrender and just rest. We were never meant to live under so much pressure anyway. How about we all do better about loving ourselves just as much if not more than we love others? Imagine how much more peace, joy, abundance, and overall zest for life we would feel and how much of the world’s problems would be solved if we lead with love?
-Dr. Sarah
