New Stride
I went home to visit Texas last week because I missed my mom and that little girl inside of me still likes to rear her ugly head and say, “What are you doing here Ceballos?”, should you be back in TX by now? Maybe you’d be with the one you thought you always wanted, maybe you’d be married. How did this critic form? Old programming. Society and perhaps even my own culture had some influence on that since as a Latina, Mexicans are big on tradition and in my opinion, it really shouldn’t matter what side of the border you grow up in. However, I am grateful my family migrated hundreds of years ago. I will refrain on why they did that as my confidence wanes in America, but I’m digressing let’s go back to my original intent…
It wasn’t until I came back to the city this time around where things just felt different. The truth is, I AM different and I always have been. It’s about time I start to embrace who I truly am. Folks or at least the wrong ones constantly telling me that I’m “too much” or I’m too “dramatic”. A double edge sword since on the one hand women are being encouraged to speak their minds nowadays and yet if a Latina does it and (ahem) one who holds a doctorate, in my case I’m considered “dramatic”. This stops now. Let people be who they are, you can either accept it or not, but DON’T you dare dim someone else’s light just because you can’t handle it. If something irks you about them, then perhaps look inside and figure out what needs to change within. Often there is our answer when something bothers us. I’ve also learned that how people meet us is in direct correlation to how much they’ve met or dealt with themselves.
Stop all of it, the judgment, the negativity. Imagine what we could accomplish with the time we allow to occupy our lives with trivial things that don’t matter. We could instead do better as humans to encourage and lift each other up. Like it or not folks we’re all different but not by the labels society or anyone else cares to place on us for their own comfort but rather it’s the experiences we’ve all been through that make us the beautiful humans we are. Let’s change our narrative and start talking to ourselves as we would a loved one. Let’s start calling ourselves beautiful or handsome, let’s start looking in the mirror and say you ARE great. You are wonderful. Accept ourselves just as we are!
Three years in the city, crazy. It seems like only yesterday that I landed here off the plane from Houston. What have I learned? SO much. I have found that when it’s hard, that’s on purpose and it’s meant to grow me and move me in the direction my life needs to go according to God’s plan or where the universe would have me. I learned that I’m enough all on my own and the right people will always embrace you with arms WIDE open. More importantly, my coming to New York was in search of my heart’s desire and the pursuit of my own “American” dream, and thankfully BECAUSE of all my ancestors, abuelo y abuela that came before me I can do this. My parents that sacrificed for me to have a better life, I am SO blessed. Funny business chasing a dream, you find what you’re made of. I didn’t know how much I had to heal until I came here. What changed? I found my stride. I found me, or at least I dusted off the labels and everyone else’s hang-ups that were placed on me and I no longer tolerate negativity. I found the people I needed to find that love and accept me just as I am. Did it come later in life? Yes, but so what. The beauty of life is that we all have our own paths to follow. I am the creator of my future and everything I have set out to accomplish is by my own design. More importantly, the one thing I have always prided myself on is that I have NEVER believed that something is impossible. There is no such thing! Where there is a will, there is a way, and even if you have to change direction, or re-route the goal doesn’t change. Only our approach or flexibility changes. And yes, our patience gets tested more than we perhaps care to admit but I believe it’s also a test to see if we truly want what it is we say we want. And if not, then it’s ok too. Life goes on and you dream a new dream. There is so much life to be lived in the in-between or in the middle, ALL of it serves a purpose.
Year four in the city, began yesterday with a booking AND an audition for the next thing. God/the universe even NYC I have found always has a way of providing and getting you to where you need to be. This city, I’m brought to tears when I think about how much New York has “raised” me or changed me in a way that I never knew possible. While we no longer tolerate bs, I have become a much more empathetic, genuine, funnier version of myself. Maybe it was always there? However, I’m grateful for the challenges that made me stronger, I’m grateful that life continues, and that every day is a chance to grow and the choice I have to be a better version of me. No matter how bad the “world” may look, if you hold to a higher belief and in my case, I am a woman of faith, therefore, I always set my sights on things above and I cling to the fact that we really only have today so we MUST make the best of it. It’s easy to give up if life isn’t going your way, but the real strength comes when you have the courage to face whatever it is you’re going through, good or bad head-on! Am I still scared? A little, and in the best way possible! I read somewhere that if your dreams don’t scare you then you’re not dreaming big enough! Besides, I simply refuse to let fear navigate my life.
When I think about what lays ahead, I can’t help but want to scream! I’m excited, a little anxious but mostly I can’t wait to embrace it, welcome it, and await the blessings that are coming! I thank God, my family, friends, strangers even or anyone else that has encouraged me along the way to bringing me to this moment. No one gets to where they’re going alone. So I write to encourage that young person or maybe a young person at heart, that no matter where you are it is not your final destination. You must keep going to find your new stride. And I promise you, it will be better than you ever imagined. How do I know? I never in all my life thought that everything I dreamt about as a little girl, I would one day be living.
Hold onto your dreams, and don’t let anyone or anything take them away from you! More importantly, do for yourself what you can and make sure that even you don’t stop yourself from becoming who and where you’re destined to be. You are your own cheerleader when no one else is, keep speaking positively over your life and watch what changes, even if nothing around you changes, maybe you will, and sometimes I have learned that’s what it’s all about.
So much love & light,
-Dr. Sarita
