It's Begins & Ends with Love.
Good morning/afternoon! (wherever you are)
How are “we” today? Is it just me or is anyone else struggling to see the goodness in ALL of this chaos that consumes us today. I’m not just talking about the pandemic, I’m talking to those that feel like they’re barely getting by or feel like they haven’t seen their best days. I’m talking to those dealing with emotional trauma (and we ALL have it), I’m speaking to those that don’t know if they can make it till tomorrow, this is for you.
I constantly ask myself, why is it that there is so much I want to do and see, and more importantly help to heal this world, and yet I don’t know how it will happen. Sometimes I think to myself, God why me? Why is it that my true self has a heart that’s too big for my own good & yet people don’t recognize it? Then I’m always reminded of how much my strength and my definition of how I see myself isn’t based on “people”. I am a Christian woman and yet in my time, I don’t know about you, how many of us encounter the judgmental or overly religious type? Or how often do we judge ourselves? Or those that seek to use the word as a means to stay willfully ignorant. It happens ALL the time. Or my famous question I often ask God, “Lord I knew there would be trials and tribulations but does it have to be THIS hard?” Is it just me, or is it you too?
Folks and I do mean everyone regardless of whatever you believe, there is universal truth amongst all the spiritualities. When it’s dark, that means the light is on its way. The level of “attacks” or it seems like every day there’s always “something”, represents the blessings to come. How do you keep going? Often my students will ask me where my strength comes from and for me, it’s my faith. It’s in the choices I make, the people I choose to surround myself with. What am I feeding my body? What am I watching or listening to? Am I stupendous at it? Nope, I fail more than I succeed, but I choose to get up and go again, because the truth is, how can we ever get to the beauty of life if we stay in the dark? And I love myself (feels good to say it out loud by the way) to stay down or allow the darkness to overrule my life.
Can we continue to normalize conversations about mental and emotional health? Can we please allow ourselves to be human? I wonder what life would look like if we took time to sit with our emotions, deal with our anger, or recognize what “needs” have gone unchecked which leads us to act out of deficient places. How much happier would we be if we learned to lean into the discomfort to realize the discomfort is growing us up so we CAN get to the “good part” or even great parts of life?
Tears bring healing. Greatness and growth happen in dark places. My challenge to myself now is how can I welcome the darkness and ask myself, what am I trying to learn here or where am I being invited to grow? I will tell you the minute I started to celebrate my victories and the greater parts of me, I felt stronger to face my fears and stronger to approach my areas of opportunity. It’s taken me a while to learn that even with the not-so-great parts of myself, I wouldn’t want them to go away fully because for one I probably wouldn’t stay humble nor would there be moments for me to grow. I’m am imperfectly, perfect and I love that. Besides what is perfect? I will refrain from going down that rabbit hole. But will the “perfect” people please stand up? There’s no humanity in being perfect.
The truth is, we’re stronger than we think we are. We’re braver than we think we are and more importantly, we are beautiful human beings worthy of love. I will say that true love and wholeness begin with loving yourself first. What would change if we loved ourselves first and gave ourselves the love we often so freely give others? What if we took time to sit with our emotions, and I do mean ALL of our emotions, processing them in a healthy way which leads to overall mental health and physical well-being too.
God/the universe loves us SO much but perhaps we need to love ourselves too! Recognize the kings and queens we already are. Sure we’re human, we lash out when we know better, or we look to things or even people to fill voids in our lives, and yet life/God is right there to give us another chance to try again and improve. Every day is a new chance to begin again. This is the goodness of God/the universe/life. Today, I was reminded of the fact that we can’t get to the good stuff unless we have the strength and are willing to go through the difficulties as well. Isn’t it interesting that when we watch TV and now we have the luxury of fast-forwarding through the drama (if that’s what we’re watching) and yet if you’re like me do you sometimes wish you could fast-forward through life? Or fast-forward through this pandemic? However, if we are wise, we’ll be good stewards of this time we’re in. We’re still alive, we’re still operating at a slower pace. We aren’t supposed to run 24/7. There is a time for rest & restoration too.
I know it’s bad out there, but it will stay bad unless we have the courage to face the bad and realize that there is also SO much good out there too. Sure it’s easy to stay bitter, sad, upset or question why things didn’t work out or why that disappointment happened, however, the truth is when we hold onto those things we are blocking the blessings, God’s will, or the universe’s will to prevail and I promise you that whatever higher power you believe in whether it’s the God that I believe in or Buddha or whoever wants to bless you. We are not meant to suffer all the time. Do they happen? Yes. Will it last forever, the answer is it depends on two things…our ability to believe for better which equates to our mindset, and the second one being that storms never come to stay, they come to pass. It gets better, the good news is God/the universe will use what someone or something means for evil and turn it for our good. That is how MUCH we are loved. How great is that? Let’s be thankful for the closed doors or the redirects or the people that walked away. They weren’t serving us! That’s why after the storm comes to pass we always have 20/20 vision or in hindsight we say to ourselves, ah I see what God/the universe did there, good play. I don’t know about you but I’m almost more grateful for the setbacks, or “tough times” because it surely means something better is on its way and it’s the universe’s/God way of getting us there. Love is hard, it’s definitely not easy that’s for sure. It takes work. But we have to be willing to do the work. However, I will say Love inevitably becomes easier and natural. Guilt, anger, shame, hatred occupy way more energy, even though it’s easier to hold onto those things because on some level it does feel good yet that doesn’t mean it’s healthier.
I don’t know who I’m blogging for, or who I’m “preaching” to, but friends let’s hold each other accountable that if you fall I got you, and if I fall, I know you got me too. Even if you don’t have me, I know there’s a higher being out there that does. Humans are meant and wired for connection and before we can ever have any of the goodness of life, we have to endure the darkness knowing that on the other side of that we will be met with blessings, love, or even better people, or a better job or even more finances. Doesn’t that just blow your mind? I’m shaking and beyond excited when I think about what’s coming and if you know the Lord, then you know…or again whatever you believe in has provided before, the universe will do it again and in an even greater way! And if you don’t know, now you know.
Get your joy back, get your faith up, get your hope up! While you’re celebrating life in the storm, guess what, it makes it easier to endure, it helps the time pass, and then when the sun shines again or that thing you’re praying/hoping for does come you’ll be that much more grateful. And when something is meant for you, it makes it that much more precious. We haven’t seen our best days yet and thank God we haven’t because then what does that say for our story? It doesn’t end on a moot point, it doesn’t end in defeat. Lame. It ends in victory! We did not come this far to only come to this far. Sometimes we get held back to be launched even further. It’s not our job to know how it will all work out, but it is our job to believe that it will and it will be perfect.
I can feel the anxiety melting away, I can feel that something big is on the horizon and that brighter days are coming! They’re here now. Let’s not cling to old narratives or live in the past, it already happened. Conversely, if we know the future is bright then let’s not overload ourselves with worry and have the courage to enjoy today good or bad. Difficulties coming? No problem, we got this because we’ve been through them before and still we triumphed. Finances not there? What behaviors or spending habits can we change to save more and spend less (I’m working on this too)? And yet, somehow God/the universe always provides. Trials and tribulations coming? Good! It means we’re being presented with an opportunity to grow and come up higher. I’ve said it before, God/the universe loves us TOO much to stay the same. Loss or death? In my own personal testimony and story, yes I love my dad I always will. Was it fair? No. Do I wish he was still here? 1000% but I know he’s with me and sees me and if I’m lucky enough we get to chime in and touch base from time to time through my dreams. I love that! I have my own angel in heaven watching over me. I have two heavenly fathers, how lucky am I? It’s taken me my whole life to realize that perhaps what I cling/clung to had to be taken so I could learn to love myself and be on my own, so I could appreciate what I DO have and not be dependent on temporary things or people to see me through.
If we look at the life expectancy of life now what is it 86 yrs or more? Some of the greatest folks in the bible or history lived to be over 100! We have nothing but time. If you’re not where you are, how do you know that? Who’s blueprint are you using, and my dear friends can we please be better at not comparing ourselves to others? Their story is not yours! Are we comparing ourselves to societal standards? How well is “society” working out right now? Not very well. Love is everything. You are where you’re supposed to be! Right now, this time in history, this minute, this very second. Consider maybe, that you’re right on time! If we can love ourselves through the dark, we can get to the light, and we have the strength to face another day. We need the dark to get to the light and vice versa. Opposite forces yes, but equal in that we can’t have one without the other. As for love and hate, hate is a choice. Just like love is, and we can choose to love. It’s the harder choice sure, but it does come more naturally than hatred. Fear does not have to hold us captive either. We take our power back when we choose to overcome and choose to upgrade our mindset or in some cases choose to let go. It’s getting good, I promise!
If God/the universe can look at us with so much love, we must do the same! I can guarantee neither one, again whatever you believe in is keeping score of how many times you’ve blown it or how many times you’ve failed. So why are you? I can guarantee that if this huge energy out there that exists is looking at you and think that you are wonderful and beautiful, handsome. Do you feel it? I do, and it’s overwhelming. It brings tears to my eyes when I stop and think about how much I really am loved. I love me. When you love you too, I’m convinced you can withstand anything! Better yet, you no longer are held captive to anyone else’s agenda or the world’s agenda nor should anyone’s opinion of you change based on their inability to see your true worth and beauty. In the words of RuPaul, “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else?” Just because you’re not where you thought you’d be or that the thing you’re hoping for/praying for hasn’t happened yet, it doesn’t mean that it won’t! God/the universe is ALWAYS working behind the scenes to get us to where/who we need to be. Take the pressure off of yourselves, relax and enjoy your life because it’s about to get really good!
Side note: It’s almost spring in the city and I kind of miss the snow. Winter signifies that the old must die to give way to the new and whatever “new” is coming, can we take a moment to usher that in! Hooray for love, hooray for life always up to something to keep it interesting. Allow yourselves to be surprised for what’s to come! Blessings are coming, finances are coming up, health is being restored, emotions are being stabilized and hope is on the horizon! Love is the answer, love is the remedy.
**As this month of love comes to an end. Thank you to the Black community for all of the beautiful gifts you have and continue to contribute to this world in spite of how you get treated. If that’s not a sign of love I don’t know what is. I’m happy to see that reparations are coming for you. Y’all inspire me so much and thank God y’all exist, you’re beautiful!
Let me also take a moment to show some love for the Asian community. Can we all take a moment to recognize what they contribute to this world too? My fellow Latinos, mi gente, ahhh I love our culture so much! Thank God/the universe for all the color in this world, it is what truly makes our world worth living in and for.
We have what it takes to make it folks!!! For as long as we love ourselves, we can then love others too and love heals all and conquers all! xoxoxo
